Why your text sounded meaner than you meant | Shahmaran
Social
Why your text sounded meaner than you meant
A short read
It read as cold
You sent a short message. They took it badly. You reread it and cannot see what was wrong.
Both of you are being reasonable, and the medium is doing something to you.
Sources
Kruger J, Epley N, Parker J, Ng ZW (2005) — Egocentrism over e-mail: can we communicate as well as we think?, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Senders are far more confident than accurate about whether their tone will be read as intended, because they cannot read their own message without the intention attached
The absence of prosody, facial expression and timing in text, and the consequent weight placed on punctuation, which is read differently across ages, workplaces and countries